What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why can’t conservatives accept the fact that they are stupid?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

Are evolutionists giving evolution a bad name by claiming humans started off as shrews?

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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What do you mean son?